Whether someone is having casual sex because it feels better than a relationship, or they’re having it because their lives are truly chaotic and they need something to center themselves on, casual sex is something to be approached with care. When engaging in casual sex, it’s important to be honest with yourself and understand any possible downsides (and upsides!) that it might have.
As well as the usual concerns such as STIs and unwanted pregnancy, mental health can often be a struggle for those who feel they’re “hooking up,” especially considering the pressure to connect with people quickly. If you’re having a problem, it’s always a good idea to talk to someone.
“[If] you keep getting into the same situation over and over again, what are you demonstrating? You’re saying this isn’t okay, and you may as well stop and think about it in a different way.”
Keep in mind that casual sex is often considered taboo, even though society as a whole seems to think it’s perfectly fine. Everyone feels differently about sexual encounters with someone they barely know. One thing’s for sure: Should you decide to go casual, it should be all-out, all the time. Nothing less feels right.
“I spent quite a bit of time being single before I was in a relationship and I would definitely argue that on the whole, it’s better to be single than in a dead-end relationship.”
“It’s for a very simple reason. It’s just a reminder that it’s not always just about love.”
1. Non-monogamous casual sex can keep you feeling more alive.
Wanting to have sex can be both exciting and frustrating. Why should you have to wait and be “exclusive” if you’re into someone, when you can have sex whenever you’re ready? Having non-monogamous casual sex can keep you feeling more alive, and it can be much more freeing than having sex with only one person all the time. If you’re like most people, it can also be a complete turn-on.
2. It can get better at any point.
Monogamous casual sex can lead to deep feelings, but you don’t need to feel that way all the time — that’s a recipe for heartache. If that’s what you want, you can have a monogamous relationship — it’s not mutually exclusive. But if you just want to have sex all the time,
80s centerfolds
When the intentions of casual sex is clearly understood, a wonderful plethora of benefits can be seen by having fun with that delightful person who happens to be standing in front of you. But there are two sides to every coin, and the side that doesn’t get enough attention is the side with the detrimental effects. Studies have proven that casual sex among college students, for example, can result in substantial risks such as early sexual debut, multiple sexual partners, and higher incidences of alcohol and drug use. They lose the attraction and mystery that comes with meeting a stranger in a public place. While casual sex is fundamentally different than sex with a long term partner — you just don’t get a say in the matter — there can be all kinds of hidden dangers involved, such as getting involved with someone with a lifestyle you’re not familiar with, communicable diseases, and emotional ramifications that you cannot know about ahead of time. For a full discussion of all of these, please see my article: Why Should I Care About Casual Sex? You’re not legally obligated to tell them about your other sex partners. The whole driving up the street, rolling down the window, asking for a blowjob thing…it’s all kind of gross. If I’m going to hang with you, I want to know about your past and the time you spent with that other girl. I don’t want you to give me an STD by accidentally kissing me on the mouth. What’s that stuff you use? You could be using latex. Are you taking a break before your next shot? I don’t want to get licked by some pig. Having a positive, mutually supportive relationship makes casual sex in a committed relationship overall a lot more effective. The best way to make casual sex in a committed relationship worthwhile is to make sure you’re both in love with each other. When it’s just a break from the monotony of long-term commitment, who cares about the pressure from your family, friends, or the new person’s family, friends? You love each other — that’s what matters. Both the person you’re sleeping with and the person you’re sleeping with love you, and if you care about that person enough, then why shouldn’t you? It’s not about becoming “married.” It’s about having fun and looking for someone who you love. I am 100% certain that if you two were man-woman instead of man-man, the sex would still be awesome, and you probably wouldn’t be
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